Nate Phelps did not embrace his father's hate mongering, fear filled version of Christianity, but tried for a time to raise his family in a more moderate way. But he realized that in the end it's tough to really do Christianity without the fear. Money quote:
The turning point was one Christmas, when Nate decided to teach his children about God. In the end, his son Tyler began crying in the backseat of the car, saying that he didn’t want to go to hell.
“He wanted to believe because he didn’t want to go to hell,” Nate said. “I was just stunned because I didn’t know what I had said or how I had left him with that fear. I thought I was doing a good job of presenting it without the fear.
“Thinking about it after the fact, I realized you can’t do that. With a young mind it doesn’t matter. You can try as much as you want to talk about how good God is, but the bottom line is there’s this intolerably frightening punishment if you don’t accept it. And how does a young mind deal with that?”
Of course, if Christians are right, then maybe we ought to be afraid.